How often can you use the word “obliterate” against something so towering as stress and anxiety?
They both are complex monsters. And it does take time and effort to obliterate them.
But by using a couple clever Mindfulness techniques, you can bring your levels of stress and anxiety down to very manageable levels.
To be able to sleep when insomnia just kicked in. To unwind after a hard day, instead of taking the stress home.
To overcome the anticipation of future events. To have some peace of mind and put a stop to our hyperactive, hyper-worrying minds.
Let’s get to it with the first technique…
Quick note: If you want to have 4x the results obliterating anxiety and stress in record time be sure to check out my Mindfulness program.
1-The real enemy.
This Mindfulness technique will help you get stress and anxiety off your back on command. And it works from the get go!
When we are too stressed, we are just replaying the narrative that worry is playing in our heads.
And as absurd as it may sound, stress doesn’t come from that argument we had in the morning, or the one we will try to avoid later tonight.
It doesn’t come from that intimidating challenge we will face in a few days.
And, in general, anxiety doesn’t come from external sources.
Does this make any sense? Anxiety and stress do come from all that! Right?
Well, no. It’s more complicated. It’s all about your mental dialogue.
As I said, both stress and anxiety come from replaying the worry in our minds.
They come from the “what-if thinking”. They come from obsessive thoughts. From overthinking and from overworrying.
And while we will not deal with each one of those factors right now, I will straight up give you the punchline here:
You must understand that the real enemy is not the stressor, but stress itself.
Pick your battles
Let’s use an example to make it easier to understand.
Let’s think about a really stressful situation, for example, landing a plane.
Imagine a foggy night with heavy crosswinds. And the pilot trying to make the landing under these circumstances.
That, in itself, is a real challenge. But in this case stress only adds up to the adversity…
On top of the other things, stress is like an annoying person yelling at the pilot, distracting him.
Now imagine you are that pilot.
There’s a madman yelling hurtful stuff at you. Distracting you. Bothering you. Making you anxious and insecure.
It’s only making things much worse.
And even though you are getting by, managing to do what you need to do…
… the madman still insists you are going to die, that you are stupid and that you will also be in pain for long before you pass…
Divide and conquer.
You might make the landing in the foggy night with bad crosswinds, but you must get rid of the annoying madman first.
Realize the enemy is not external. Instead it is much about your Mental Dialogue.
What should you do?
Get him off your back! Obviously.
Become aware of the thoughts that are making your stress and anxiety worse and refuse to be controlled by that fear.
How exactly are you going to do that?
Expose the cheap tricks it uses:
Anxiety doesn’t have a problem lying to your face. Stress doesn’t mind if you don’t sleep.
They both lie, constantly, and will replay any amount of BS in your mind just so that you cannot have any peace of mind.
And you cannot keep falling for their cheap tricks.
Once you realize they are liars and tricksters, it will be easier for you to get rid of the worry.
Because now you know they will do anything to keep you in this downward spiral.
Even if it’s a lie. Even if they need to construct absurd situations.
You will see that, in order to keep you there, they will go to greater lengths just for that sole purpose.
To create a more elaborate lie, or to make you rehash the same worrying situation for the thousandth time.
Expose their lies.
So here’s what you need to do:
You must be mindful of the fact that the sole purpose of those mental processes is to rob you of your mental health.
And this will keep happening if you don’t address them as the real enemy.
As long as you keep listening to them you will keep being their victim.
Refuse to play this role. Realize that everything you think during anxiety or stress will end up the exact same way.
Your thoughts are not exactly your allies in those moments.
They are just a byproduct of the stress you are going through.
And it is not a matter of making it all stop, because the mind will most likely refuse to listen.
Instead it is about realizing that the mental dialogue of stress and anxiety can only be detrimental.
And that you can save all the overthinking because things will still remain the same.
Whether you are anxious or stressed, external events will not be affected. Only you will be affected.
No amount of worry, overthinking or what-if thinking can affect external events.
On to the second exercise…
2-Operate from power.
Following the same line of thought; once you have refused to engage in “what-if thinking” you will have to “fill the void” of your absent worry with more beneficial thoughts…
So instead of allowing your worry to run your thoughts on autopilot you will consciously get in control and create those beneficial thoughts.
How? By thinking about your own true power!
No, this is not a pep talk and you will see why in a minute…
This is not the first time you face something you think is out of your hands.
You have faced challenges in the past. And it will not be the last time you overcome them.
Knowing this, you can save all the mental turmoil, reject worry and instead resolve to face the stressful situation as it comes. Even if it seems very difficult or unsurmountable.
You have accomplished some pretty cool stuff in the past, you know it.
And this is just a bad moment of stress and/or anxiety.
You have done it in the past.
You have successfully bested similar situations in the past. Situations where you felt completely lost and at a disadvantage.
Even at times when you were stressed or didn’t know how to deal with it, you ended up overcoming it.
Think about how powerful you are in this sense.
You have done this!
You see? No pep talk at all! Just the truth.
I am really only talking about your true capabilities. Nothing more.
I am not saying you are invincible or Superman. I am just saying that this is something you will overcome.
You are indeed powerful, because even though you think you are not, it is only the fear talking.
And that is a distorted view, not the truth.
Fear, worry, anxiety and stress love to do that.
They love to distort your view of reality, and to make you believe you are small and weak when in reality you are not.
And by the way, you can also become more capable than you are right now. It is true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Don’t allow yourself to be buried under deceptively unsurmountable challenges.
Decide to operate from a position of power. Of your own true power.
Think about everything you can do, instead of just giving in and engaging in what-if thinking.
Everything you can do.
You know that moment when the movie protagonist says “I got this”?
Well, that is actually a matter of decision!
It’s not that they can see the future and see themselves with a guarantee of success.
They actually don’t know what will happen. No one does!
And it’s also not that they magically remove all obstacles from their path by just saying “I can do this”.
It is a decision. They decide to operate from their own powers instead of their vulnerabilities.
Yes. Even in face of serious deficiencies, adversity and real-life risks and dangers.
They decide to look at everything they can do, instead of everything that can go wrong.
What should you do?
Make this decision.
With all your nervousness, with all your anxiety, fear, stress and rejection; resolve to take your chances.
Who do you think would perform their best?
A surgeon who goes into the operating room rejecting a difficult surgery?
Or one who resolves to do the best she can?
With all the adversity. With the weight of all the expectations. With all the fear.
One will definitely outperform the other. And it will be the same one that can actually get to sleep the night before the surgery.
You must think that “you got this”, and resolve to do the best you can.
Which takes me to a pretty cool bonus technique…
Enjoying this guide? Be sure to check out my one-on-one program, the fastest way to permanently defeat anxiety and stress.
3-Accept your imperfection.
This might seem contradictory, but stay with me.
Without reserve, accept that you are not exempt from failure or defeat.
What a contradiction. Right?
I just gave you a pep talk Mindfulness technique to tap into your own power…
… and yet here I remind you of the possibility of failure and defeat.
Understanding this apparent paradox is the kind of exercise that will allow you to rewire your mind on a neural level.
And to make yourself invulnerable to anxiety, stress, irritability and so on.
Stay with me and you will understand in a minute.
You are human. You feel, you suffer, you are imperfect, you screw up…
… and you also are capable of repairing situations or moving on when this is not possible.
But this is not the way we live life.
We only go as far as the worst-case scenario.
The stress and anxiety we experience are a product of rejection, regardless of the cause.
Right at the core of all stress and anxiety, there is something we want to avoid at all costs.
And if we cannot avoid it, here comes the freakout or the mental breakdown.
Take 10 seconds to analyze this.
Of course, it’s something we reject!
If things were normal, we would not bee feeling all stressed, panicky or anxious.
But have you really thought about what you’re trying to reject? Do you know what it is?
Have you considered that the situation that is stressing you out still needs to be handled?
Regardless of how we feel. We still have to deal with it and deal with either a desirable or undesirable outcome.
There is no way around it.
When we are stressed, it is because our subconscious mind is completely busy having a myriad of worrisome thoughts. Even if we are not aware of it.
And in the case of anxiety, this happens in the conscious mind as what-if thinking.
And here comes the powerful revelation:
In both cases, we only go as far as that situation we are trying to avoid, and that’s it.
Have you ever thought about that?
We never go beyond that point because if things go wrong, it means the end for us.
That’s why stress and anxiety arise. Because we reject an undesirable outcome.
And we also refuse to see beyond the undesirable outcome. It’s too painful, too stressful.
In the event of the dreaded undesirable result, we consider everything is FUBAR.
… but what happens if, instead you allow yourself to reach that point? As painful as it may be.
And even venture beyond that!
I know. It sounds scary as hell!
Even thinking about is feels awful!
But you must understand that, if you don’t allow yourself to go beyond that “point of no return”, and still resolve to make the best of it, you will keep being a slave to stress and anxiety.
So, what do we do?
Do this instead.
Think the unthinkable. Resolve to live in that moment beyond the rejected event.
And decide what you are going to do in the event of things going wrong.
Without reserve, accept that you are not exempt from failure or defeat.
No matter how hard you fight against it. No matter how much you want to avoid it.
The more you go without addressing the core rejection of your worry, the more stress you will accumulate.
And the more prone you will be to anxiety and even panic and depression.
In this sense, stress becomes a choice. The freakout too, becomes a choice.
But we can survive beyond that stressor. We can survive even if the event of things going very wrong.
We just don’t want to accept that.
And this is what creates stress and anxiety.
What should you do?
Think about the pain you feel right now and how fear and rejection make you a victim.
Compare this to the stressful moment of confrontation and make a decision to go the hard way for the long-term reward.
As painful as it may be, think how you will operate beyond that point.
I get it, it’s not easy. It’s not pleasant. It’s not desirable… no one is saying it is.
But one is a wise decision, and the other is not.
A difficult moment now that will lead you to long-term peace of mind (long term reward)…
Or put off the confrontation just to save yourself from that discomfort (short term reward)… but at the cost of your peace of mind.
Once again, I am not saying it’s easy.
I have coached clients who are really going through difficult situations. Seriously hard stuff.
Doctors about to perform high-risk surgery.
Event planners whose suppliers didn’t comply.
Film producers with key team members bailing out on them days before production starts.
Executives whose business partners decide to leave the firm and become competition.
And of course, I have encountered countless painful stories of trauma and inner turmoil that are too deep to even outline here.
Stories of abuse, neglect, trauma and so on. But even in those cases anxiety, panic and depression can be completely reversed and uprooted.
You won’t be the first one to take this guide and using only these 2 3 techniques achieve higher degrees of peace of mind.
More control over your worry, anxiety and panic.
The hard way or the bad way?
It’s hard, that’s for sure. But it’s even more difficult to live in fear and evasion.
Never give in to the thought that “everything will be lost”.
Never give in to the fear of an undesired outcome. It can only cripple you mentally.
As convincing as it may seem, be more stubborn than your worry and resolve to go beyond that supposedly fubar point.
What if stress and anxiety persist?
Sometimes they arise as a result of regret, uncertainty, vulnerability, health, and so on.
Or maybe your mind will refuse to listen to these techniques and you still feel in a fragile state.
Too prone to anxiety to just get the peace of mind you so badly need.
What you need to do then, is to deepen this work. To go deep into what is causing your specific stress or anxiety.
As stated at the beginning, both anxiety and stress are complex monsters that won’t disappear until we uproot them. That is, until you attack their root cause.
As opposed to what you may be thinking, uprooting anxiety and defeating stress doesn’t take years, but weeks only. And if you want to do that, you must check out my one-on-one program and enroll.
It’s guaranteed to give you results. Yes, guaranteed.
It is laser-focused, results-oriented and the fastest way to become anxiety and stress-proof.
Mental health and peace of mind must become our top priority.
Or else, we will continue to suffer stress, irritability, insomnia, overworry, anxiety, panic, depression… all making our lives miserable.
Your inner state is everything.
After all, it is our emotional and mental state that defines everything in our lives. From our work performance, to the quality of our relationships.
It’s literally everything.
Your mind is “only” that person who is constantly there with you, 24/7.
And you must decide if it will either be your enemy or your friend.
Please share this, as it is badly needed.
And leave a comment letting me know what you thought about it.
Hope to hear from you soon.
May you gather the strength and wisdom necessary to attain complete mental health.
Creator of the Transcendental Mindfulness Therapy.
Break free from anxiety!
There are 7 misconceptions that keep you trapped in anxiety. Subscribe to learn about them, and you will also know how to defeat anxiety permanently.
This is absolutely true and exactly what my therapist is trying to teach me. If I cant overcome these challenges with him then I might be contacting you. Thank you and the way you described it all helps deepen my understanding of what he is teaching.
Thank you for your comment Jody! Be strong, you can do this! If you have any questions you can send me an email to george at george alonso dot com.